Letting Go

This week has been one of those challenging weeks. Ellie is in the last year of primary school- and as a move towards the independence that will come with secondary school she has started twice a week walking home with a friend.
Things haven't gone particularly smoothly, and mistakes have been made, to-days mistake ended in tears.  My natural reaction at that point is to go to 'if I had been there it wouldn't have happened', and then immediately go to the guilt. I also want to protect; maybe Ellie shouldn't walk home without me anymore, or at least not for a few months.
In yet, without allowing independence there is no opportunity to learn from mistakes, to do that 'growing up' of dealing with new situations, and learn from what happens.

At the moment I am following a series of readings on letting go; and it strikes me again how easy it is to keep hold of things, to live in the comfort and security of what we know.  As a parent I find it hard to let go of my children- I still crave their time, energy and conversation, yet I have to let go, knowing that this is so important to the route to adulthood.
At work it is sometimes hard to let go of things you have invested so much of yourself in, yet this week I have done that very thing. It is part of having to adapt to change, to not cling on.

Tonight I was given some acorns.

It was a reminder that as acorns become oak trees, so also we can grow to become the people we are meant to be, however old we are. I think letting go is part of that process.




Jane

this mornings internal jukebox

Emma

late night, early morning.

last night i walked to our local off license, i realised i needed to be in a warmer coat. this morning i opened the bedroom curtains to see frost on my kitchen roof, sparkling in the early morning sunlight. i was late to bed last night but i woke early. wearily i dragged my tired bones downstairs. i was hit by a shaft of light in my hallway illuminating my christmas flowering cactus, budding, building up to dazzle in the coming months.

in the kitchen again sunlight holds my gaze. i am drawn to the beautiful tree that is at the bottom of my neighbours garden. i am in awe as it continues its autumnal display.

adding a scarf alongside my coat i leave for work. i think of jane as i observe two spiders webs spun on my gatepost glistening with dew in the morning sunlight. my car sits on the sunny side of the street. mother nature having done the defrosting for me, i turn it around, exchanging waves with a neighbour who waits for warm air to kick in and clear his fogged windows.

arriving home tonight i am greeted by the smell of a neighbours newly painted front door.

walking inside, i cast off the day. sitting cheerily in my living room; the sunflowers i bought as a treat for myself this weekend.  

settling in for the evening; the oven goes on to cook dinner, a glass of wine is poured, a reminder is set on the tv. an early night is calling but not before watching the semi finals of the great british bake off. a quiet evening after a full day. tonight sleep will come easy. i was glad tonights plans were subject to a friends raincheck.

Emma

Webs

Over the last few weeks I have noticed more and more spiders making their homes in the garden. To-day it has been wet all day, and the dew drops are hanging in the air, as if illuminating the webs, nature on full display.

I'm still looking for the spiders......



Jane

look what arrived this morning

lying in bed debating the merits of getting up in my head, i heard the clatter of the letterbox and a reassuringly loud thud. i know that sound. when it happens on a saturday morning when no work is to be got up for you know it is going to be a good day.

not just that but sunshine and blue sky too.

if you look closely (you can click to make it larger) you can still see the moon.

a perfect start to my chill out weekend. happy saturday friends. make the most of it wherever you may be and whatever you are doing.

Emma

through the car window and out the back door

at this time of year i find myself staring at trees. 

tell me i'm not alone. 

low lying sun enhances the autumnal hues as leafs begin their seasonal display. drawing me in. reminding me that all too soon the weather will turn colder and winter will come calling. making me think when exactly do the clocks change? how long have i got to drink in this waning light? reminding me to make the most of it and enjoy the exhibition while it lasts.

my journey to work is not long. these last couple of days i have been stuck in traffic. time that i have had to daydream and look out the window. drinking in the sunshine. watching the autumnal show.

opening the bedroom curtains this morning, in the sunlight i saw the moon. i opened the back door and marvelled.

arriving home from work the weekly chore of pulling the wheelie bin from the kerb provided time to notice my strawberry plants are also turning. still sprouting shoots but joining in the autumn chorus. 

make the most of the show. i've googled. clocks go back on 28 october. this show has a limited run. you don't need a ticket. it runs everyday. take your seats. wherever you may be. no two days are the same. 

Emma

outtakes - take I

Emma