i remember...

when i was a teenager i painted my bedroom walls. not like my cousin did - black and white parallel lines to imitate blondie's record sleeve - but huge faces of my own design. i remember my mum not being very happy about it but my dad okayed my expressing myself so off i went. they were segmented pictures - at that point i was excited by screen printing and all my artwork was thought out with the process of cutting the film forefront in my mind, the blank space forming part of the picture. i can't remember when i stopped painting them but i do remember when i did i painted all the walls brown and stuck up a "feed the world" poster as decoration. yeah, i'm guessing i was a lot of fun to be around then too.

i remember exactly when my creativity got thwarted.

i was fourteen years old and taking my options at school. out of everyone that wanted to take art in our school i was the only one who selected the option to do the printing class. i was told they couldn't run the class just for me so i was put into the fine art group. i went from being happy and expressive in my art class to being miserable and under achieving, there was no encouragement only mistakes hi-lighted. it was clear from the start my teacher didn't like my style and i didn't have a clue how to paint in her style. this continued for two years. unlike my dad she didn't believe in me. i passed my exam with a b grade, i have always wondered what i would have got if i was encouraged.  

i graduated college, got a job, got promoted, bought the car and the house. all this time the pencils were down - abandoned on the road to what i thought success looked like. and abandoned there too was myself - frustrated, uncommunicative and alone - all dressed up in a work suit accompanying a newly renovated house. for nearly eighteen years. as so often happens the epiphany comes at your lowest ebb - i was no exception - but with the unravelling came the realisation: you are not the sum of what you own, you are the sum of who you are. and who i am at a soul level is creative. 

i picked up my camera and took more pictures. slowly i found my photographic eye. my best friend asked me to start a blog with her. slowly i found my writing voice - am still finding it. i joined a choir with another friend - as my vocal muscles returned i remembered anew my love of singing. i breathed deep and embraced my god given talents. slowly i threw off the fear of stepping out not always to do something new but to revive the the art of something forgotten. remembering was a gentle blessing and the happiness it brought made me want to remember more. 

i have found that creativity needs room, space to circle you and draw you in. more than that - you need space to embrace it - be it physical or mental. i have often wondered how i let go of my creativity and have realised it was gradual - i let it be eroded not just by teachers who didn't encourage nor by expectations of what success looks like but also by maturing and losing my ability to play and dream. in my naivety i thought you could only be creative if you made that work your living. nothing could be further from the truth. 

will you let creativity court you? will you play and have fun and step out of your comfort zone? will you make enjoyment a priority regardless of what it looks like to everyone else?

i can guarantee you won't regret it.  

Emma

linking with the writers at living the story on their theme for the month: create.

Autumn Glory

Sometimes nature says it all....

Jane

six things i learnt in september

i'm a sucker for beautiful stationary, pretty cards and notebooks.  I'm old school like that, I like to send mail alongside the instant gratification of email and i like to write in a notebook not just type a note into my phone. 

september brings the start of the new educational year. when i was a kid i used to love shopping for new school supplies - picking out which pencil case i was going to use for the year and the best part - selecting what was going to go into it. even now i can lose myself in a store dedicated to stationary.  september also brings a change of season and this year i was not ready to let go of summer - with its warm relaxed outdoor months i found myself craving more of the same. but the one thing you can rely on about change is that it comes at you regardless of if you are ready or not so here we go six things i learnt in september.

1. when you are not feeling the season - embrace the future season to pull yourself into the current one. i aired and washed favourite blankets and throws, lit candles fragranced with cloves, mandarin and cinnamon and ate tangerines. 

and speaking of eating:

2. if you want your souffle to rise perfectly straight go around the outside of the ramekin with your fingertip to create a clear clean edge. when chatting to a friend about this she told me it is a similar thing with scones - when you use a cutter to shape the scone do not wiggle it around in order to release it from the mixture - that action stops it from rising while it is baking. 

3. when you are baking if you get eggshell in your bowl don't rescue it using a spoon, dip another piece of shell into the bowl - they stick together like magnetic magic.

4. while embracing the new season using food this month this fish stew was the best recipe i tried.

caution was thrown to the wind and the anchovy and chili proportions were upped but i recommend you try increasing them too - you won't be disappointed - with monkfish it was beautiful.

5. something i learnt about myself this month - i get anxious when my camera battery is about to die - turns out my new camera needs to be switched on to charge. i had to remind myself to live in the moment and not always be the one capturing everything. just because there isn't a picture doesn't mean it didn't happen.

6. something i learnt about hairdressers - they only suggest a total change of hair colour to clients they think will be able to carry it off citing my personality and "quirky" dress sense as their reasons. after a quick confab with those who know me well i concurred. 

i work in an office dominated by men as yet no one has talked to me about the change - i'm not sure if that's down to lack of observation or the fact i am now grey. six days in and i love it - of course half my wardrobe now doesn't suit me but that's a problem i will have to address next month.

this is the fourth month i have linked with emily freeman over at chatting at the sky sharing the things we've learnt in the month. emily's new book a million little ways is released next week and in october she is writing a series entitled - made for this - 31 days of artful living.  she's insightful, honest, a great storyteller and funny too - click here to check it out.

Emma

thankful thursday

this week i am thankful for things money can't buy; sunshine in september - casting its long shadows and stopping me from putting the central heating on constant just yet, restorative benefits of rest - feeling so much better for stopping and recharging, friendships near and far - having the honour of observing my best friends friendship group grow into a scene from friends coffee shop but with kids. this weekend i join in the chorus of goodbyes as a family from the group embarks on the next stage of their life journey, family - the smile between my nephew and my sister as her three year old asks over dinner "mummy what was your best part of the day?"

Emma

monday

 

tonight i have arrived home from work to find a beautifully coloured feather abandoned by its owner, have watched a bee get his fill from my fuschia plant, clean himself off and go back for more and have realised now that i have finally taken home the picture my niece drew for me last month that actually it's not just a heart but a face. love it.

Emma

thankful thursday

truth be told these last few days i've struggled. the fog of illness - the kind that wears you down without actually knocking you out - making the everyday things feel like major chores. presently i feel as if i could sleep for britain and still wake up exhausted - you know that feeling too i'm certain. the weather hasn't helped either - so far this week i've lost count of the times i am in one place and my umbrella in another. none of this has helped me feel thankful. but you know what? this week i am thankful for hope. hope tells me that one day soon going to bed early every night will pay off and i will feel better. hope tells me that soon i won't get caught in the rain each time i step outside. hope tells me that the weather forecasters might be right and this weekend might be the indian summer they are predicting. maybe then i will be able to let go of summer and embrace the start of the autumn show. 

Emma

a wet play date

sunday was grey, wet and windy - exactly the kind of day you want to stay indoors and keep warm. but sunday is my day to do something different from the rest of the week so getting away from the nag of jobs to be done i went to see an exhibition i had meaning to go to all summer. harry goodwin was the stills photographer for the legendary bbc tv music show top of the pops during the 60s and 70s - he got paid £30 a week to photograph the likes of the beatles and the rolling stones. his photographs are now in some cases all that remain of the history of the show as film recordings have been destroyed or recorded over. it was a good way to play on a sunday afternoon. 

Emma

the full cast list of who appears above: john lennon, ike and tina turner, barry gibb (no didn't get him without his beard either), shirley bassey and the ronnettes.