blessings

have you thought about your blessings lately? perhaps you prefer to call them something else? also perhaps we only consider something a blessing if life is going well, not when we are in the thick of it. 

i wouldn't call this week a good one. in fact there have been places where it has been downright hard. but this week i've focused on the changes. if you have ever had a life changing experience you will know what i mean. these are the times you count your days before and the days after an event. before you were married and after, before you became a parent and after, before you got the promotion and after. i've lived a memory of that this past week; life when my dad was still in it and life after he wasn't. twelve years on i realise more and more that there is some kind of physical memory of the date, almost like if i forgot my body would remind me.  i sometimes wonder if that is because dad had a heart attack and died young and unexpected - it's the shock of the phone call i received telling of the news that i can recall with such clarity - it is the mind that recalls time standing still but perhaps my body remembers the shock of that initial contact.

in the face of that and other disappointments this week i have remembered my blessings. a roof above my head, bills paid, food in my fridge, petrol in my car - may i never underestimate the power of provision nor take for granted how blessed i am to live in a county with clean water from a tap and a free national health service. three aunties in hospital at the same time, all now healing and making progress. two years ago this weekend we attended a family reunion of my mum's side of the family, i am grateful for the memories made that weekend and time spent together. this weekend also marks the eighth birthday of one of my nieces; i have the honour of sharing my life with four nieces and two nephews the youngest of whom still calls me a variation of emma that sounds more like anna. as i try to teach him how to say emma my sister reminds me - one day he will open the door and call me my name properly and i will be disapointed that i'm no longer called anna. i know she is right.

embrace the imperfect, celebrate the off kilter don't be disappointed by things looking a little different to how you would like them - these are the things that refine us - celebrate at will.

Emma