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Monday 23 April 2012

Rain

Ok...so according to the papers, the news and my lovely husband who may work for a local water company we are in drought. The kind of drought that means we need to time our showers, water our plants with water from the washing up bowl, and definitely never use a hosepipe. This was confirmed when I went to London and on the train platform there was a stand where people where giving out leaflets telling me that we are in drought.
In yet, there is a certain irony in that. On the train platform the stand was surrounded by buckets, catching rain drops from the ceiling as it leaked.
It rained all of last week. It rained at the weekend. It rained today. This is what my phone says for the week:

So, why does that matter? Because weather somehow effects the mood. Everything feels grey, cold and gloomy. I'm typing this wearing my thickest jumper, in yet its nearly May. This last week I have gone through a real battle in my head. A battle to say I can cope at work, a battle to find enough a headspace to write on here (thanks to Emma as ever for keeping posting), a battle to force myself to do the things I should be doing.
Sometimes life is like that isn't it? We all have those things inside us that get us down, that make everything seem harder. As women I think its worse- the sense of guilt that seems to have been passed down through generations makes it harder. We can all have a talent for believing in our inadequacies.
Yesterday afternoon as I went into the kitchen out of the window it was still raining, but within this sunlight shone through. It made the garden look beautiful, the rain drops glistened.


We went outside to chase the rainbow- the hidden optimism, the beauty of the sky, we stood in the rain and got wet, but it was fun. It reminded me about finding the sunlight, accepting our mental headspace, of knowing there is a bigger plan, and of the beauty there is within.
However, I still advise an umbrella for the next week, a shelter is always good:)


Jane

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