i lift the two year old off the brown leather sofa, his hair twisted into a tintin-esque quiff, a certain sign to those who know his habits; sleep will not long be eluded. i carry him up the split level stairs, arriving at the first door i walk into a cool room filtered with dappled light. lying him down on his white cotton sheeted child size bed i realise his pillow and current bedtime friend; a soft yet plump ladybird his grandma bought him have been left downstairs. turning on my heels to head back downstairs i am greeted on the half split landing by his older brother "shall i take them?" i enquire as he balances the pillow and cuddly toy while negotiating the stairs one by one "no, i'll do it" he says. moving aside to allow him access, i follow him into the bedroom he and his brother share. wordlessly he walks up to his younger brothers bedside. he places the candy striped pillow at the top of the bed, puts his small hands on both of his brothers shoulders and guides him backwards until his head finds the soft mass of the half size pillow. he lays the red ladybird to the right of his head and satisfied with its position turns his attention to the duvet muddled around his brothers feet and lower legs, he pulls it up over him stopping at his pyjamaed chest, tucking it in as he goes. wind blows through the open window, the breeze pushing the blackout blind outward, shafts of light illuminate the white painted walls. he pauses, considers his handiwork and decides instead to pull the covering up under his siblings chin. suddenly his sleepy brother sits upright, looking around for his bedtime storybook, with this motion the duvet falls down around his waist. undeterred his protector grasps the animal patterned covering and moves it upward as if tucking in a napkin under a chin. once in place his little hands smooth out the cover around shoulders and arms. satisfied, he brushes his brothers soft blonde locks off his forehead, leans over and kisses him on the exposed milky white skin "night night len" he says. happy he has completed the bedtime routine, his head tilts upwards, his blue eyes meet mine. in the silence, i feel certain he can hear my heart beating loud at the scene. i bend down, part his now browning golden hair, kiss him on his forehead and smile, my heart swollen at the vision of everyday brotherly tenderness.
in the wake of travel to do the nice things comes the wave of tiredness, the fogged haze that leaves you begging for rest. there is no time for rest, the work routine demands attention. the neglected to-do list is long but as each item is slowly worked through and ticked off there is rhythm to the tasks. a sense of excitement grows as the days on the calendar turn bringing me closer to family and friends visits marked on future pages. the slow and steady, one day at a time pace enables the smallest of windows through which to gain rest. the friend who phones and suddenly dinner plans are made contrasting nicely with the previous nights toast accompanied by butter. the ease of conversation catching up on days missed with chilled wine accompaning the endless chatter. i am thankful for the surprise of it all in the midst of my perceived chaos. when really chaos is what you make it - don't rise to its bait and it becomes stillness, a waft of cool air on a humid day, so unexpected it could leave you breathless. i am thankful.
this week i am thankful for time spent with friends and family, for efforts made and rewards received. i am thankful to have plans to look forward to regardless of the weather forecasts or work schedules. i am thankful for friendship that lasts years not months and am thankful that this month i get to spend time with old friends who are visting or whom i am visiting; the joy of the summer months.