Skimming the water

Well, haven't posted in ages..... It is very hard when battling with stress to feel
creative enough to write, and find inspiration or head space... So thought I better break my period of silence. Yesterday I didn't have a car, so had to walk to work. I started off with my laptop in my rucksack, and feeling like it could be a trudge. But it was a beautiful morning, and suddenly walking seemed liberating . It gave me space to think, to breathe in the air, unwinde the brain, and more importantly notice everything round, somethings that in a car just passes you by. Walking through the University I passed over a bridge, and as I went over there was a flapping and a splash. Ducks were skimming across the water and landing, not just one but several. They seemed to be doing it just for fun, and someone else near me on the bridge stopped to look at nature enjoying itself. As I walked to face another crazy day I saw the freedom and beauty of nature, and wanted to be one of those birds flying and skimming....
The image stayed with me through the day, so often I can sink with all that is happening around me, I want to be able to fly above that, to skim.... The opportunity to walk due to a broken car gave me more than I could ever have thought. I'm hoping this is the start of creativity being allowed to come back in my head.....

Jane

weekend

this weekend i was in reading visiting jane.  it was great to catch up and actually talk and share a glass of wine face to face.  it was long overdue.  we have a shorthand of years that is comforting and i am grateful for our friendship.  this weekend involved more cooking together than we have done before, ever.  parkin. treacle toffee. butternut squash soup.  all to celebrate bonfire night.  we notched up two celebrations, jane reminded me to take my camera to the second.  it turns out that was the only thing i took pictures of. the rest of the time we were too busy chatting.

 

Emma

... happiness is ...

... a good nights sleep ...
... watching the autumn leaves change colour ...
... ticking items off a "to do" list ...
... buying a new record and knowing on first listen it will be one you go back to again and again ...
... cooking dinner in a newly fitted oven, first time in over two months ...
... a very chilled glass of sparkling wine ...
... a stroll in the fresh air, with or without wind ...
... packing for a weekend with good friends and not even minding having to do the ironing ...
... finding yourself when you didn't realise you were lost ...

Emma

friendship at forty

last weekend i went home to the motherland.  i was born in edinburgh.  it's a long time since i've been to scotland.  i was surprised at how excited i was.  i went with nine other friends to celebrate our friend rachel's big birthday.  it was fab. lots of food, quite a bit of wine mixed with a dash of culture. with the help of all the girls i put together a photo book to show how we all knew her. she knew nothing about it. i was pleased with how it came out but i was even more pleased by how much she loved it. 

Emma

"one's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things"

this year i was certain i wanted change.  i have written about it here.  i have pondered it. it is easy to look at external circumstances and think; if only i had a better job, more money, a larger house, a better car everything would be fine.  yet if i had all those things; i would still be me, just with more stuff.  these past few weeks i have experienced circumstances that have challenged me like i have never been challenged before.  i have come to realise that the thing i need to change the most is me. at first it was the small things.  the taking for granted things.  the not noticing what is in front of you things.  the running away from things.  but gradually i realised that it was the larger things.  the attitudes.  the thought processes.  the held onto hurts. unintentionally i lost sight of myself.  last year i took part in a month long online flickr group for the website habit.  it is one of my favourite sites. it's a project for noticing everyday things.  the women who uploaded photographs were amazing and inspired me to look harder and take better pictures.  i was happy to upload alongside them. two days before the end of the month this picture of mine was selected and published on the website.  i was ecstatic.   

now the challenge to me is to notice myself.  to notice when i close down.  to notice when i am hard and harsh.  to notice when and where i need to take responsibility and when i need to lighten up. i need to notice that i try everyday. this photo was printed and framed and given to me by a man who was proud and knew what it meant to me to have had it published on-line.  it sits on a shelf in my lounge. a year ago i didn't realise what a grand gesture that was. 

Emma

away

i've been away.  not away, away.  but in my head away.  i'm still away.  i will be back.  soon, i'm sure.  last night i went outside just as the sun was setting, the sky was tinted pink.  it's the first time i have wanted to reach for my camera for weeks.

Emma

harvest

i had a great weekend at harvest at jimmy's.  tagging along with my brother and his family it was great to spend time, eat, drink and play together.  i got one on one niece action too.  it was fab.

Emma