musings

a couple of weeks ago a person who knows me better than i know myself told me; how i am now is like i was in my early twenties. 

i am now in my early forties. 

it's taken me twice my time to regain the youthful exuberance i had. i never realised i had done a detour. never realised my path was overgrown with hedgrow. it just happened. life crowded in. crowded in with parties then responsibilities. i have no recollection of deciding i was going to do this or that, it just happened. my twenties initially were flighty, fun, adventurous. my thirties brought the realisation that i wasn't where i thought i should be. i forgot about where i wanted to be. in fact i didn't forget, i didn't even think about it. my early forties has brought growth. i can trace it back to where it started:

a digital camera. 

with that brought a whole new world. suddenly images i took were immediate. finally my mac was able to dazzle with it's true colours. no more one hour photo shop with disappointing colour. from that; a confidence to find my voice with pictures. a submission selected and published on a photo blog. the amazement, surprise and humbling acceptance of what i had captured and expressed swelled the confidence further. next a germ of a thought; the idea of starting my own blog. my oldest, bestest friend suggesting we do it together. a year on our friendship is stonger than it has ever been. a friendship that pre-dates my early twenties. through this i have found that words come easy. well maybe not easy but easier than i could ever have imagined. they have become something i want to embrace and find voice for. encouraging stories recollected and shared of comments made by family, who when reading cards i have written have been moved not just to tears but to comment that i have always been a writer. this has helped gain the realisation that this has always been there, lying in abeyance, awaiting just the right time for me to pick up and try, try, try again. 

creativity awakened. 

re-awakened. 

it has been a process. more than that. a discipline. requiring effort, time, thought. on a good day; a stream of conciousness. on a bad; i am back at school working my way through homework. only this time it is set by myself for myself to my own deadline. expressing myself. being aware of and open to life has been the change. what i thought it was about, it is not. 

what have i realised in the simplicity of it? just that. it is simple.

do what you love. 

embrace your talents. 

walk with hope. 

be joyful. 

laugh easily and long.  

take pleasure in the everyday. 

make time. 

simply; love. 

love yourself. 

love others. 

above all be true. 

true to what you have been given. 

you are the only one that can sing your song.

sing with gusto.

Emma